Help me Jewish God!

Could the stock car go the way of the stock market? Could the next big crash at the Brickyard 400 be the race itself?

Starla Mae, Britt, Dodge Jr, get in here! This here recession shit is gettin’ all serious on our ass.

Yes folks, it’s true. Fox News, ever vigilant in assessing the potential impact of this big scary economy stuff has determined that NASCAR could be the latest victim of an economic slowdown. With the Big Three unable to cough up sponsorship funds, or even build race cars to compete. Of course, pulling out of NASCAR would be an absolute death knell for any of the auto makers, because everybody knows, the only way Americans can identify which cars are patriotic enough to be used for target practice in the back yard is by watching Talladega.

If America loses its #1 spectator sport, the effects would be almost too devastating to imagine. Sales of Bud Light would plummet, colleges would be unable to cope with demand as millions of rednecks begin reading in their spare time, and the jobs would be lost (non-ironic quote alert:)

In an attempt to cut costs across the board the sport recently banned off-season testing, in which teams use official NASCAR racetracks to test or tweak vehicles or for practice. It’s expected to save each team $1 million, but it has also cost about 1,000 garage workers their jobs.

More from Fox News on this crisis: [NASCAR Faces a Bumpy Ride if Big Three Automakers Go Down]