I’ve noticed a lot of obits on the Mob recently – we even have our own Category Heading for it – so I’ve decided to write something completely opposite.

Jacob Smith was born yesterday in Rochester, New York.  He is the day old son of John and Judy Smith.

He has no deformities, abnormalities and weighs a healthy 12 lbs.

Jacob doesn’t know it yet, but he will grow up to write a novel about life, love, lust, longing, lemons and lemonade.

He will change the world with this lemon book.  For the better.

Through his wisdom and teachings on the art of citrus, people (especially sciencey people) will extrapolate his words into sciencey words and cure world hunger, the environment…and then people will start to love each other again.

It will be glorious and it will all be due – in whole – to this day old baby from Rochester, son of John and Judy.

How do I know this, you may ask?  In fact, you may not ask.  Don’t even think of asking, even though I’ve already mentioned you asking.

You know what?  I think you’re thinking about it, so I’m going to go.  But just know that you could have known more, but this should suffice.  The start of the New World is nigh!